Frumpy To Fabulous - The Spanx Shapewear That I Wear Under My Christmas Party Dress!
As a sexy, slinky young thing in my twenties, Christmas parties were AWESOME. I looked forward to them, never dreaded them and always loved choosing new dresses and outfits to wear for them. I'm not sure I could tell you how many little black sparkly dresses I owned. I had a wardrobe full, that is for sure. One thing was definite, I used to be brimming full of youthful confidence. Shapewear was the last thing on my mind!
Fast forward several hundred years and two children and how things have changed. These days I'm so unconfident about what I look like. Wrinkles and eye bags aside (and don't even get me started on my droopy boobs!), I am just not that happy with my middle aged figure. And that makes me so nervous about going to grown up Christmas parties and getting all dressed up.
Get Out The Little Black Dress
I have a little black dress that I think will work for my Christmas parties. Okay, it's not as little as I would have once worn (knee length with shoulders, rather than uber short or strapless) but it looks the part. And I can dress it up with jewelry, scarves, bolero cardigan type things. It will look okay.
(not actually me!)
Fa La La La Lumpy
The main issue with it is my silhouette. It looks all lumpy underneath. Yes, I know the real problem is that it IS all lumpy underneath, but no drastic diet or exercise plan is going to solve that by Christmas. I NEED something to smooth things out and prevent my bum wobbling on the dance floor. But I ALSO NEED it to be comfortable, not too tight, not too hot, easy to use the loo. Yes you are right, I need MAGIC!
Party On Spanx!
Under my little black dress this Christmas I will mainly be wearing Spanx. And not just any Spanx. It's the top of the range, all singing and dancing Spanx. This Spanx holds me in, smooths me out and gives a lovely bit of shaping to my bum. It is the rolls royce of shapewear and I think it is amazing. It temporarily turns me from blob to beauty, wobbly to wow. Or at least middle aged woman with annoying rolls of fat into middle aged woman with hidden annoying rolls of fat.
My Spanx of choice is (drum roll please)...
These Spanx are EXTRA FIRM in slimming control. They slim my thighs, hips, bottom, tummy and waist. I can wear them with my own bra (thank you M&S, you have a very good fitting service) so my bust is as good as it gets. And they attach to my bra with little straps, so they don't roll down when I inevitably get my groove on. They have an opening gusset so no loo cubicle struggles when I'm desperate for a quick wee. And they slim, LIFT & SHAPE my bum, turning it from a doughy lump into something a little bit more perky. These Spanx are seriously good and work perfectly under my little black dress.
They are also FANTASTIC at taking over when my booze belly makes an appearance. What on earth is your booze belly I hear you ask? My booze belly is when I've drunk several glass of wine (ahem ahem okay and maybe a few shots of tequila) and I just can't be bothered to hold my stomach in any longer. My core strength takes a break and my belly starts sticking out. I spend half the night holding in my belly, trying to look sophisticated and svelte, and the other half just letting it all hang out. This often coincides with the point in the night where I think karaoke is a good thing.
The After Party
A word of warning about these Spanx, they are a bit of a passion killer. They look really odd without your clothes on over the top. Like REALLY ODD. Like small lederhosen. If you are planning on parting into the night, don't let your other half see what you are wearing. Completely naked is better. Or even better still, a quick change into something less comical.
Okay, another word of warning, they are a bit of a faff to get off. You have to attach them to your bra with little straps. If you struggle (due to tiredness of course, nothing to do with being tipsy) just take them off along with your bra. It ain't glamorous, but my life these days rarely is!